~intoxicated heart~

how many of us talk about our friends behind their backs?

how many of us talk about our own bestfriends behind their backs?

malu kan nak jawab??

then, when we know our friends talk behind ourback, we shoot up to the roof…what is that maaann??

talking behind the back is generally talking all the bad stuff la kan….

I used to be sumone who will always hv good things to say about people (yeah, i was that nice it even annoyed myself)….i like people (among other things like bags n shoes hehe)…but things changed now. You know, there was a boyfriend of mine who asked me, "sume mende u suka, sume org u suke. ape yg u tak suke ah?"

And I honestly cant answer that. I gv 1 celeb name coz i really dun like her (I think she’s Phony ~with capital P ok~ and sombong n mengada n I can prove it!)…but he was just grinning at me…middle to late this year, I found out, I can hate people,really. There’s 3 of them. I hate them so much it scares me. I hate them sooo much…it was like this bottomless pit in my heart..and the irony of it? He was the one who gave me a reason to bloody hate those 3….HE who wonders why I dun hate people…..Ironic kan? but I dun hate him ~sigh bodo la aku nie~

I nvr thot I could feel this much hatred ever in my life…this is fasting month summore, so watever i feel is all me, not with influence of whatevernot…

very-wise-babe (remember her?) says that is becoz we dun own our hearts…that’s why we cant dictate nor instruct it to do what we want..I believe her. But I do wish, I can let the hatred passed, even if those 3 deserve my wrath. Believe me, I dun hv anything nice to say about them AT ALL. If they are bloody nice afterall, they can GTH..I’m fasting but not a hypocrit in this matter. And for the love of God, believe me, my temper is not sumthing nice. One simple rule, nvr provoke me until I scream at you, go ask people who had..

coming back to talking behind backs, I had always berpegang kpd what I wrote above, you talk behind people’s back, people will talk behind urs too…sumtimes, we dun talk at all, but people will still say bad things about you….and you wonder why, mostly, when these people are actually frens with you,talk behind ur back…those who gave you out..kdg2 menda yg ikhlas kita buat, jadi tak ikhlas becoz of this…sakit hati pulak bila teringat how you fight for them and stand up for them…what do you get in return?

even with these knowledge, last week, I managed to hurt myself when I heard this one person does talk n gave me out…the funny thing is, I really trust this lady so much and why the hell shdnt I? tah la kenape nak jadi ikhlas2 nie kan? but sumhow when I heard what she did, keciknye hati…sbb I was ever nice to her without "purposely trying hard to be nice with people"…she’s ok, there’s no reason not to like her….puhlease, who am I kidding? this is a big bad world afterall…

but again, how do you measure friends? who do you choose to be friends with?

There’s this guy who said to me "I’m a friendly guy" when I asked how was he connected to whomever.Bullshit lah if he says he was trying to befriended me with all honesty..I know what he was doing..there’s not a dot of honesty in talking to me even..

You know those that we call talam?

hah ha…peribahasa Melayu ->Talam dua muka…you guys all know what it means..

Bagaimana pula dgn bermuka-muka? I simply dun understand if you were to all out trying to befriended sumone when u have an agenda…i mean, yeah sumtimes, kite kenal org, then kwn2 biasa then kite ikhlas takde niat ape…org kata kawan, kawan lah…kalo jadi baik, then good for you…

tapi how lah dgn people yg nak friend with benefits tu? you do have ur own set of friends yg mmg you ikhlas berkawan, but sumhow you ade pulak jugak those yg u nak berkwn juz becoz the fella ade benefit kpd u…or u can get sumthing out of it…macam, if u kwn dgn A nie, u dun hv to worry he/she got money,so he/she can pay for you…save duit…there’s not nice eyh? or how you kwn dgn B bcos he/she ada status dlm masyarakat that you thot can help you out….or how you kwn dgn C so that you can make a fool out of him/her during ur tattletale sessions…

if let say, you kwn dgn org n u do hv that types of reasoning, where does it put you? what type of a person you are then? if let say, he/she gives you benefit, what do you bring in to the relationship pulak? Dun gv me bull by saying knowing you is a piala enuff..

~sigh…what am I babbling about…

I am still nice..I am still me..

but pls, dun take advantage of that…

sumtimes, kita berkawan bcoz that other person is fun to hang out with…kan?

so let’s, this month is a good month to start menjadi ikhlas….dan berhenti bermuka-muka…

Salams.

I watched MTV Jus few days back (err…i come back from work at 4pm everyday during fasting month..YES, FOUR…muahahaha…tp I reach office is the very early in the morning lah to compensate nak balik awal to sleep eheh) and I watched the video Kekasih Gelapku from Ungu….

First time I heard this song was a few months back…while driving back from work, listening to the radio…and immediately my mind flown away to this one guy….He was my Kekasih Gelap..I had a Kekasih Gelap…and as the song says, ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun, walaupun tiada seorg pun yang tahu…

The thing is, not even him knows that he was my Kekasih Gelap….that how gelap it was haha…Only my sis & my BFF had known I called him that..I made a promise to a guy, so I’m sticking to it eventho I had met with Kekasih Gelap after…I was happy (to hv found him) yet I was sad (I couldnt be with him coz of that promise)….

As fate turn the other way, I had my chance to be with my Kekasih Gelap and no more in the darkness…the earlier promise was broken, n not by me…

And sumhow fate took another turn, and that made me no longer with Kekasih Gelap…

What goes around eh…but I didnt deserve it….Kekasih gelapku was kekasih gelapku…..ever….

but, biarlah rahsia…….it was afterall, the past.

I came to office today wearing a pair of sunglasses…cool eh? AKAN TETAPI, itu bukan utk menarik perhatian manusia sekalian alam tetapi utk mengkaver my eyes…

aku sakit mata.mata aku ketumbit (no, i didnt mengendap sapa2..tho i wish i had)

yesterday dia start bengkak around noon like dat, sakit wooo…gila berdenyut2 sampai sakit pala…sakiiiitttt sakiiiitttt…i told everyone abt it, minie ckp "ko tak penah ketumbit kan Jas?" then br i realized, i cant remember when was the last time aku terhidap sty ini…masa sekolah rendah dulu i think…I went to whine to everyone (except my 2 bosses lah hehe).. one of my mgr kecik pulak ckp, ikut petua org cina, utk surutkan ketumbits nie, kena pakai benang itam putih kat jari…then i remembered kecik2 pun aku pakai centu gak tapi benang itam lilit kat jari antu, pasai aku melayu ke ah? betulke petua nie sume?? hehehe ke psychology jek kat budak2 kate nak cepat baik? who knows….

sakiiiiiiiitttttt.

ok aku tau..melebih2..

tp sakit la wei…tak tipu tau, I’m fasting today summore

ade yg panggil si ketumbit (yea, I forgive u la babe)

ade yg panggil aku macam Mongolia (?? takde kene mengena kan?)

ade yg panggil aku agogo (siap nyanyi lagi ok)

ade yg panggil aku ape tah lagi…

kene tease ok, but yg penting, sakiiiiiiiiittttt

nak jadik cerita plak, last 2 nites, aku food poisoning, tgh syiok tgk CSI Miami tu, sekali perut dah memulas2 ok…I cant sleep, asik ulang alik masuk toilet…nak sahur pun tak berani mkn pa pe, takut kuar balik…ye la kan…sampai dah takble kuar pun die still nal kuar gak, cemane tu skang….sedeynye hari pertama ramadhan…kwn aku ckp dugaan nie hehhe ye ke?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dugaan?

yesterday I broke my fast alone…nope, not with anyone, not with sumone….

It has been sooo long that I berbuka seorang diri….Previously, I would have cried while eating the food…but this year, this year no…big girls dun cry eh?

for the past couple of years, I’ve been lucky enough to hv sumone who wld accompany me for this occasion, well, most days anyway….

It really matters on the first day right? for you to break-fast with your loved ones, your family, your whomever, with your sumones…..

It really matters, isnt it?

It wld be a lie to say no.

Sedih kan bila dok seorg diri di tempat org?

[Menyampah kan bila org yg stay dgn family ckp "I takde sape selain you... Kalo you xde, (buat intonasi mengada) kat sape la lagi i nak ngadu" in an attempt to lure a guy yg decided to be dumb enuff to fall for that eventho he shdnt be falling at all(wekwek!pukepuke! ok aku emo)]

bagi student2 yg study in universities, pun sedey kan sambut Ramadhan nie…but at least you got friends who in the same boat…

unless you were pursuing your studies at a later age at a foreign place, with no one…

Sedih tau bila makan seorang…especially berbuka di hari pertama Ramadhan..

I cant really explain the sadness….last nite it was so full in my head, but when I want to type it down now…the words dont come out.

You cant really blame other people for wanting or needing to be at other places…they are not yours to begin with…so you shd understand…

There’s this one time, during uni days, I was break fasting alone in the room ( yeah, I was this student body thingy so I get to hv a room by myself), while suaping the nasik into my mouth, the tears keep running down my cheek n plopping into the lauk…I cant help it…so even baru mkn 3 suap camtu, I push away the food..xde selera…I am one of those people when I’m sad, I cant eat….which is not good…

naaahh…ape la sgt berbuka sorg kat umah nie kan…aku dh penah berbuka dlm komuter balik semban tiap2 hari dulu…semban kan last stop, so nnt tggl 1-2 org je dlm each coaches tu by the time nak spi semban..so sume nnt ade seketul kuih ke, air ke, pastu memasing akan look at each other sbb nak tgk dah time berbuka ke belum…org lain sume dah sampai umah bersukaria…that 1st year n 1st day aku berbuka dlm komuter, was my 1st month working here, got no friends yet n no money too…this was tmpt org for me before….damn sad i tell you..

aku penah jugak berbuka dlm kereta seorg, tepi highway, dekat R&R, tepi jalan, ape je yg tak? maklumla kan…perantau….yes, aku sedar diri…tapi korg yg tak penah merantau tu, tau ke rasa cemana? dont talk big eh…makan diri nnt.

Ramadhan Ramadhan…Ramadhan shall nvr be the same for me anymore…

The Ramadhan before last year marked sumthing for me that I shall nvr forget..the physical scar isnt visible anymore but emotional scar will always be there…the one that I couldnt have had…I wonder if he remembers, or desperately trying to erase the truth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyways, yesterday was ok by my standard….with sakit perut akibat food poisoning, ketumbits nyer lagi….it was ok….i guess..no tears mean good la tu.

and Ramadhan nie, I’ve to learn utk tidak menjadi tamak…bersederhana saja sudah kan…

I miss tok abah’s watermelon juice…which he doesnt do anymore

I miss that cha kui in that place, yg puasa je ada tu….which sumone used to take me there to buy coz i like em

I miss roti john too…which dekat umah aku je tp smlm ramai org..n waktu berbuka dh dekat

I wanna eat kesemuanya, tapi kena bersabar kan?

huhuuuuu

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan….

Salams.

Dear all,

Di sini saya ingin mengwarwarkan berita jualan biskot raya yg dijamin sedaaaap dan ditanggung halal. Sila melihat kepada menu yg telah ada dibawah:

Coffee Raisins RM 20/ 50 pcs

Tart Nenas Gulung RM 25/ 50 pcs

Crystal Ball RM 22/ 50 pcs

Toffee Pecan RM 25/ 50 pcs

From Left: 1.Cheese Almond RM 22 / 50pcs 2. White Almond RM 22 / 50 pcs 3.Black Widow RM 25 / 50 pcs                      

Cinnamon Almond RM 25/ 50 pcs

Chocolate Rice RM 20/ 50 pcs

Coconut Mix RM 22/ 50 pcs

Jika anda berminat, sila hubungi saya by email: reza_jasni@yahoo.com

ryzza@hotmail.com

ataupun kepada sesiapa yg mempunyai number henfon saya ( maknusia terpilih aje la tuu), boleh hubungi secara terus okess…

gerenti sedaapp..

for more info, pls feel free to contact me in any way possible..

samples are available but only those who are very near to me…sampai esok je la tapinye sbb lusa dah posaa..

T&C

Email order shd state the followings:

name:

type of cookies:

quantity:

pickup place:

mode of payment:

Orders will be confirmed via email.

Mode of payment will be thru maybank2u transfer (upon confirmed order) or COD.

Pickup place will be at 2 places (choose one):

1. Wisma Consplant 1, Subang Jaya (next to Subang Parade)

2. Pangsapuri Carmila, Kota Dmnsara

Goods sold are not returnable & not refundable.

Orders can be made latest by 24th Sept 2007.

Expected availability date is after 3rd Oct 2007.

If needed, delivery to your place can be made and will be charged RM5-7 per delivery around Klang Valley area only.

Those in Kuantan, Penang, Ipoh can also make orders, I will send accordingly (I will have contact persons at these places, contact me for more details).

For other places, boleh also if you would like to order via mail, we can work something out.. but there will be charges incurred.

Any special arrangement needed, pls contact me.

Tunggu apa lagi??? SEDAP NIEH

sila order okes peeps..

love is all around….

CHEERS!!!

Like I said previously, I gotta go to Melaka for work…we went on Monday afternoon, came back last night…If I’m to tell you abt what I do there, sgtla bosan ok…sbb it is work…n sgt penat…balik bilik je bengkok terus padam! hahaha

tp the hotel room was great lah..rasa takmo bgn pade katil yg empuks bersama2 bantal2 yg empuk juaaaa

I went there to organize this Distributors Convention for the Company…so, our distributor in Melaka took us ( Me, Jie, Rafy, Eric, Nantha & Justin) out for dinner dekat this one Nyonya Restaurant…waaaaahh sgt heaven ok pemakanan di situ…beshnyaaaa makaaaaaannnn, tmbh kalo takyah byr utk kesemuanya ituuu (hehehe)…..well, for those yg tatau, I AM ONE BIG EATER walaupon aku kecik…aku dpt makan dan makan lagi dan makan lagi dlm tempoh yg pendek antara setiap session…..

see what they fed us mlm tu:

I ate all of it…yg last pic tu cendol….gile sedap ok, gula melaka original, rasa betul…kalah yg tepi jln kat chowrasta tu….

ok, so aku mmg buruk lantak sikit…tp I really do love to eat…..sbb tu i hafta have sumone who’ll feed me, care for my perut dulu and put my perut first among other things (ehehehe)….

Korang tau ke ape akan jadi kalo aku dibiarkan lapa bile aku dah bitau kate aku lapa?

hah ha!

hmmm…..mmg mengade skett

anyways, a view of bandar Melaka from my hotel room

series aku mengantuk now n nak balik tido…alangkah gumbiranya hati dan perut jika dpt memakan itu semua kembali….

saje gatal nak update but too bz to do so now…gotta go to Melaka for work up till Wensday…till then, this is what I’ve been up to this past week & days…

1.Ladies Night

2.Sheila was superb! her hubby is definitely yummy!!

3. Breakfast was devine..

4. Free Passes! Tenchuuu

5. Kenuri kenuri

6. Bungapi.Suke!! chantek! (abih duit rakyat ahaha)

7. Shopping Spree

8. Frogway is the bomb! Ash is hawt ok! Elaine Daly was daym cute!

tata fellas