I read a love letter last week. A love letter from her to him, but the letter is actually intended for me. For me to know what had happened between them. Can u even imagine how I felt when I read it? All my world came crushing down.…again.
The girl mentioned how it all had started between them, how it started with the pictures of him caught her eyes. And she knows he’s not really available but she still wants to pursue. She let me know the happiness that she felt, and how can I not understand a word she said…..
But the bitch didn’t want to let go even after she talked to me & said sorry, in fact she started to give more..winning him. I guess it burn her ego.
PWTC? Hmmm…what lies he told me. And to recall all the while how he had said he loves me.
How his nights are filled with her laughs, and how she sang to him & he too…How do I live my life knowing this now? All the songs, yeah I know what songs….He’s not even being original, trust me girl.
But what does it show when he cant keep that from me after all….I had came to realized all this quite fast…How can I not see the telltale signs? He even cut his own fingernails now. Hah!! When I confronted him, all he can say is to “kesian la die..otak pun tak developed sgt cam kite”. What?? Ok, take that sentence into 2. “Kesian die”? OMG!!! He even asked me to pity her???? Why should I even care what she feels? Did she care what I feel?? She had clearly told you she doesn’t care how I feel, she doesn’t even want to know, coz what matters to her is you treating her like a princess. She doesn’t hv a heart to care what her actions are doing to others..Is it selfless or selfish there..and this is the girl you are chasing. And, what do you mean “Otak tak developed”?. MY GOD!!! She knows exactly what she’s doing & again, you are underestimating her!. Like how you are underestimating the rest, your friends, family & even me. You thought I could never find out abt your little, lusty adventureSS but guess what, I know every step of it & I can prove it just like that. Unlike you who insisted you guys are just “Kawan je” but can’t prove it at all.
Kantoi all the way is more like it.
This wasn’t the man who I had fallen in love with. This wasn’t the man who always has his confidence. This wasn’t the humble man I had known. This wasn’t the man who had loved me before. He had change. In 2 short months. His maturity level even dropped & it actually baffles me. ~sigh~
Guys shd never underestimate girls..that is the stupidest thing to do. And you, you get all worked up when people say YOU are chasing her and not the other way around. Even your friends can see that. You shd never underestimate them as well. For sumone who had only known you for 2 years, I can read you like an open book, what about those who had known you like forever? You thought you can twist your story to ensure they are on your side…not telling them the whole truth even. Just picking out those which show your greatness & those you want to believe it’s true. Well.. you thought wrong. They know why you are behaving like this. You gave lame reasons to me & to them..Heck! they are not even reasons…they are just excuses.. Excuses that you want to believe coz you cant live without you being the hero. But you know what, heroes die at the end of the story. You desperately wants the excuses to be true & you want to believe them, coz it wld make it easy for you to continue with your life. You cant live with the truth, coz the truth is never abt me doing anything wrong. It’s all abt you. Don’t give me shit abt marriage, previously you told me it was because of other things and now since they are uncomprehandable, you change it to marriage? My ass lah!
I have every right to be very angry. I have every right to say what I want. What I say is the truth. It’s my page anyway…Isnt that what you told me?
I love you.
That is not hard to understand & I’m not ashamed to admit that to anybody. Thank goodness I have friends & family who understand me and also can read me like an open book. It was never about your looks, it was never about the status, it was never about the money. I make my own money. I don’t have to depend on my family just because I cant continue doing anything great, like menuntut ilmu or even find a job.
People had warned me abt you but I thot you are going to prove them wrong but you proved them right afterall. My my.
People tell me to stop thinking abt you..to stop caring what you are up to next…but I cant stop eventhough it hurts..it hurts more than hell.. Tell me how can you stop caring when you love sumone that much? I am devoted to you and that alone breaks a lot of other hearts..those who care for me….it breaks my family & friends’ heart to see what is happening to me…and how had they cried with me and for me….Do you care? Do you even still have a heart to care? You told me it will not be easy to forget me if things are not meant to be…but you did anyway, and it is faster than I say “when?” and when you are still WITH me.
It breaks my heart to know that YOU had confessed your feelings towards her. Cinta. Did she want to commit to you? She didn’t, did she? She said you guys are better off this way….not declaring anything but to continue with all this anyway. How clever she is…and even how she tells you she “Sayang” you, she “Rindu u”, “I miss you”….but she wont commit to you, yet. And you, being you, you wld keep on chasing until the girl really say yes to you. She knows if she had said yes previously, you would have dropped me like a hot stone. I wonder why she doesn’t want to commit to you..hmmm
And the naïve bitch. I call you a bitch, yeah, and you know why. Probably now I shd change my language to make it easy for you to understand what the hell Im talking abt..But you got yourself an interpreter there..He can translate to you. You do know what bitch means right? Or do I need to let you know now? Buy yourself a dictionary and learn! ( and oh Yang, am I making you angry already?)
You told him you have no one else but him, which is funny, coz looking from where I am right now, I cant see that..How many men are chasing at your feet. You know exactly what you are capable of doing and you are doing just that. Like I told you before, thank you for destroying my life. Like I told you before, I do hope you wont get a chance to go thru what I’m going thru right now coz it is too painful to even explain. Like I told you before, I hope you love him for who he is and not what he is, like me…
Like I told you before, pls remind him of “that”. Only an irresponsible man would forget. Like I told you before, I have nothing to hide. Like I told you before, if you are sincere, you wld do those thing I said to you. But, I won’t say anything now, coz he is chasing you afterall…Like I said, be happy that your plan worked. You still got loads to learn girl ~sigh~
I read sumwhere “ It is better to lose a LOVER than to love a LOSER”. How ironic when it came from that very person. Who is helping you when whatever she is saying, is happening to her. He left her for another girl right? How can she help you do this to another girl? And for both of you to pretend that you both cared for her, which is just hypocrite! And this is the other one of your bitches. You think I do not know abt her too??? How you “supposedly” scored 2 girls at 1 time when I was out of town?? You think I wont find out at all?? And she, how talam she is to even try to befriended the girl you are chasing right now…You ingat nie Idaman or telenovela ke?
And this was the girl whom you had hated before for playing your dear friend’s heart. Does Adam know too?? How you had told me how you LOATHED her..OMG!! Do you even realize you now tgh menjilat-jilat ludah you balik?? All of it! You tak geli ke?
And how you had condemned friends who bertukar2 tgn. And how you told me you plg benci kwn you yg go after a girl yg dah ada history with other friends of yours? You said, macam takde pompuan lagi dah?? That is your words, Yang…it is. But lucky for you, your friends don’t read my blog.
So, you see how you have downgraded your own self? And this bitch, you lah paling celaka sekali antara semua…You just got played too, didn’t you? Your man left you for another girl and you are stalking him like crazy right now. So apa lah beza sgt you n the girl your man kejar tu kan? You are exactly her! You might think, yeah why not, since this guy is having issues and had started flirting with you n since you are so damn lonely..and he’s bringing you everywhere instead of me & the other girl. Yes Yang, I know! Haha
I’m not dim after all, surprise! And she is the one holding the Master Plan, not you Yang, not you…
If you can still remember, you had told me before you’ve done this with your ex-gf of 4 years..you remembered how you treated her? OMG yang…you are still in that cycle..& you don’t even try to break away from it..coz you are feeling gooooood and godly. Yeaah…tell me, sape yg dlm kepompong sebenarnye?
The funny thing is, you decided that you want more when everything is running well for you.. I even told you that at the beginning of the year, in the car, that you have everything now. I put that in your brain. My fault.
How easy for you to throw everything that we have worked for together….How easy it is for you to forget what we had shared together. How easy it is for you to forget your promises. How easy for you to keep your conscience free. Just at the snap of her fingers. Which her you asked? Up to you to say which one.
But Yang, I love you. You rocked my world once. I miss my LabiLabi. How I wld give to have you to hold me back. But at the end of the day, is it worth it?
Is it worth it, Yang, to put me into all this pain? Is it worth your while for the entire headache and heartache? Is it worth it that you throw everything just to be on top, be the champion & get the girl , the one you told her you had fallen for her? Is it worth it at the end of the day? I do sincerely hope it is.
You had promised to let that girl go when I cried. You told me you love me. But you lie. And you wanna put the blame on me now? What blame are you talking about?
Like I said earlier, yang ,as long as it is all worth it. Worth what you are throwing away right now..
I had given up a lot for him….even more than my own life….That is how much I love this one person.
I’m tired of writing now…I need to take a break…
