~intoxicated heart~

(pls note, I dun hv a tummy!)

This was 2005, when my parents threw me a surprise burfday party.

It was memorable, no one had ever thrown me a surprise party…n I was damned surprise at that time. I wanted to put up the cake pix but sumhow I cant find it plak..

In 21 days, it’s gonna be my 27th burfday. It will be a quiet burfday for me, eventho satu Mesia will be on replacement holiday (to celebrate my burfday? hehe). No parties, no pressies, no frills. I shall not be in KL anyways..nor in seremban.

Like all those vain & selfish people out there, I do have a wishlist for my 27th burfday. You see, wishlist is sumthing you wish for, not sumthing you will get, geddit?

So in descending order, here goes:

10. Engine Overhaul for my Lisa

9.  A new, original Victoria Beckham jeans

8.  A Full SKII skincare set, plus 1 air-touch foundation ( yeah, i work there but I cant juz geddit for free you know)

7.  A pair of Weitz Stuartman

6.  A black Honda Jazz

5.  A Condo in Mutiara Damansara

4.  A paid round trip, 5 days to Maldives/ Barbados (hahh!!)

3.  To save up enuff money to buy myself a birthday trip for my 28th burfday

2.  Hundred percent increment of my salary (can ah boss?)

1.  For that sumone whom I love very much until it hurts me inside out to be rightfully mine.

Is it too much to ask? But then again, it’s my wishlist, not sumthing that I ask from you guys anyways hehe ( kalo nak bg pun takpe)

All these wishes are actually what I would like to give myself but I think yg make sense pun is that number 3. eh wait! that’s gonna be my next year gift already.

And next year, it aint gonna be the same list no more, baybee

till then, ciao!

oh oh I forgot! I oredi got a gift from GSC - 1 pass to watch movies during my birthday month. If only I remembered my password..huhu

I’m writing this with such mixed feelings…

I dunno whether to publish or juz let it rot in my Draft…

I hate to blog abt this as I know sum would be "hurt" n terasa..

Few days back, I was SMSing with a dear fren -> Zu.

Zu n me go way back since my matriculation days, we were in the same room. Zu & me, a lot alike, a lot different. Oxymoron, I know but we are. Zu likes to shop, ooopss LOVE to shop..eventho she doesnt need those things. And she paid all of it with her own money! Zu, when first came to Penang, I can say she’s all "Gadis Kampung", I believe Jesse would say the same thing too..

But she’s wasnt all culture shock or watever…She’s good, yeap.

I had a bf back then, same as Zu. Both our boyfies were frenz, in fact Zu n her bf started 1st than me.

Zu didnt really like my then bf, coz she said she can feel he’s no good..but since I was inclined to make him my bf (rather than wait for another stoopid guy!), she didnt say anything bad.

Zu is quite vocal with her feelings, she’ll tell straight to the face. She doesnt really hide what she felt about things. That, miraculously, went ok with me, which agak penyimpan. But with her, I can be vocal too…we can argue like forever but still be frenz with each other. We agree on sum things but definitely not on others & we would say out loud what we felt towards each other.

She did 1 thing that really make my heart warmth n glow like there’s no tmrw. She did say to my then bf to really take care of me n jaga me n nvr to break my heart. Else, he’ll regret it.

I didnt know abt it until few years had gone by, the ex told me that. At that time he felt so tercabar (HAH!!) but guess what, he & i was nvr meant to be anyway…

Bangganya aku dpt kawan yg sggup berbuat demikian!

That I believe what I had with Zu..You know, with different frenz, you hv different thing, different way, different quality that you both share.

But Zu has gone to work in Labuan, I visited her once.

Dia telah membawa dukalaranya ke sana..suffice to say that she went there with an empty heart.

She’s found love there, who would hv thought. She’s married with a guy whom I’ve nvr met. She even kept this quite from all of us…I guess, after so many heartaches n broken dreams, that is the best thing to do..

As I said, I was SMSing with her one nite asking the usual, how’s health, life, the baby in her stomach….

lepas dah sembang byk2, in the closing SMS, she wrote this to me:

"Ok. U 2. Take care. Jas, aku harap ko janganlh memilih sgt. Kita makin hari makin b’usia. Bnyk kan mengingatiNya. Semua yg blaku dugaan drNya. Miss u.."

When I read that, I was terkesima for a moment.

Zu, you seriously dunno what had happened to me. I know I didnt keep u in my loop anymore hence you dunno the real deal. You dunno what he did to me, that one who you didnt like at all..I guess ur instinct was correct n thx for supporting me anyway back then.

And Zu, I know you want me to be happy as well, to have what you have now but that isnt my choice alone.

Zu, if you could see me NOW, you’ll know I wasnt being choosy. It was never about the look, it was never about the the money & it was never about status! It has never been!! Once you see me NOW, you’ll believe it babe!

Aku tau aku bukan makin muda. I’m happy for you for finally getting married last year..but I’m telling you seriously, aku tak memilih…I was juz following my heart!

yeah I could have been married couple of years back but dear fren, weren’t you supposed to marry the one you loved??

The other day..yeah we went to the AGM, you can read it kat Minie ye…Too lazy to type hahahhahaha

& the real reason is, now the Country Finance Manager dah pindah workstation n duduk di sebelahku!!!  huhu

abih laaaaaaaaaaa…pasni mesti bos2 byk dtg sini sbb nak ckp ngan dia…susah le nak berpura2 kerja tetapi s’narnye memblog dan membaca blog!!

WELLLLLL…I’ll leave you with this..It’s a personality test!!

Say dat you are in a house, with a baby. The house is empty.

You are going to make yourself a cuppa n the baby milk, hence you boil water in a kettle on the stove.

The moment the kettle starts to whistle (air dah mendidih kan), the baby starts crying. At the same time, sumone at the door, pushing the bell incessantly & the phone ringing.

Which will you attend first? the wailing baby, the ringing phone, the whistling kettle or the knocking at the door??

in sequence…

Hahha…think!!

Sumer yg dtg mase aGM…..

eh jgn lupe pikir n jawab!!

mari kawan kawan, kita pergi AGM!

At 1st I donot wan to post this today sbb I wanna let u guys to drool over Ram Jay tp sbb esok I’ll be out of office & I need u guys to read this before Saturday, so here goes….

last week, after much persuasion from Pacik Akim (ehhe), I pon mengejoin perjumpaan AJK utk AGM SAINA..

Pacik kata kul 3pm kat MMZ..hmm..satu hal nak carik MMZ tu, salah lak tu direction dia bagi hahahha…

seb bek MotMot ada utk mendrivekan diriku ke sana.sekali tadek sape laie yg sampe huhh!!

I called Pacik n mengesound laah…dia ckp dia tgh tgk Hindustan..adehhhh

Anyway, I sat waiting for the rest together with MotMot. Pacik came later ..n after a while, sumone came..He looked so familiar but I couldnt make out who he was..n even him, was looking at me, trying to figure out who I am hahahha

then Pacik ckp, "nie masa skolah kita pggl Cikgu" and I was still blur2 hahahaha

then Pacik told that guy, "Nie Jasreza, dulu kat skolah jerawat dia besor besor, now dah tggl parut je" (was that supposed to be a compliment or what?? Asl aku rasa semacam aaa?)

then it struck me, OMG!! it’s him rupanya. see his pix down here

ada kenaal??

inilah dia ROSDI AMIR !!! berbeza bukan?? (err…sebelah tu kanan tu Pacik Akim lah)

apakah 1st reaction korg bila tgk pix diatas ittew?

mesti korg rasa dorg dah nmpk tua gila kan?kan? KEjiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

ahahahhahaha…I felt the same way too! Korg masih ingatkah mereka berdua semasa persekolahan dulu??

Kenapakah bebudak lelaki SAINA yg same batch as me look soooooooooo old haa??

Then, lihat lah pix "org menten muda" dibwh ini

Am yang begitu vogue sekali….oooh I loike!!

Dptkah anda melihat perbezaan org tua dan org muda?? (Jgn marah pacik..nnt nmpk lg tua)

Anyways, alarmed at looking older, I asked MotMot when he came to fetch me later, did I look thaaat old? he said me & Am tak nmpk pon tua sgt cam dorg tu (verrryy goood answer!)

Lawak tak meeting utk AGM 4 org jek?

Anyways, the next day I went together with MotMot to cut my hair..oh-my-so-glamorous-hair…n the girl while washing my hair, asked me " baru abih blajar ke?"

waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh…gembira hatiku tidak terkata!!I still looked young!! (nope, she wasnt membodeking ok coz she juz 1 month there)

and for fun, I asked them to blow dry my hair straight..the result

(err jgn tanye asl tgn cam nak bersilat tu)

seeee….very the young ok!

so peeps, kpd bebudak yg satu skolah dgn I, since I kene pegi, maka korang ponn kene pegi okkkk!!!!

I kene jage registration, so bile lg korg nak jupe I yg perasan muda nieyh eheh

So JGN LUPE, date ngan I, SABTU @ INTEKMA RESORT @ 9am (bekfes disediakan)

SEE YOUUUU THEREEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Diperkenalkan Ram Jay!!

Dia merupakan guard di tempat aku bekerja. Dia adalah seorg yg sgt dedikated terhadap kerjanya.

Ram Jay adalah seorg Gurkha, bermaksud dia berasal dr Nepal. Di Nepal, Ram Jay merupakan seorg polis (kalo tak silaplah)..

Aku memanggilnya Ram pada mulanya kerna mengikut apa yg Bali panggil…tetiba sekarang mereka memanggilnya Jay. Mungkin Jay lebih glamer dr Ram, siapa tahu…memandangkan sebelum ini aku tidak tahu namanya yang sebenar, maka ketika mengambil pix ini, aku pon bertanyakan lah (setelah beberapa bulan dia bekerja di sini muahaha).

Kenapakah aku berkata dia sgt berdedikasi?

Kerna dia amat mengecheck semua org yg dtg ke ofis ini. Setiap setgh jam, dia akan membuat rondaan didalam ofis. Walaupun mukanya kelihatan begitu penat dan mandom, dia tidak pernah sesekali lupa utk greet aku setiap pagi "Good Morning!!" dgn lantangnya dan menunggu sehingga aku menjawab.

Dia juga akan memastikan setiap visitor memulangkan pelekat di baju mereka. Dia juga akan memastikan mereka tidak melekat pelekat itu di seluar, tudung, lengan mahupun kepala. Ram Jay akan mengeround juga di belakang2 tangga dan didepan toilet utk memastikan keselamatan kami semua di company ini.

Saya tidak rasa ada antara kita yg mampu bekerja sepertinya. Bayangkan dia bekerja 12 jam sehari, dr 8 pagi hingga 8 mlm, kdg2 hingga seploh mlm. Bergantung kepada mereka yg tidak reti2 nak balik rumah.

Sudahlah 12 jam, Ram Jay tidak dpt menonton TV ataupun ber SMS ketika bekerja kerana dia tiada gefren disini.

Ram Jaya bekerja setiap hari, and I mean SETIAP HARI. Jikalau ada 30 hari dlm sebulan, maka 30 harilah Ram Jay bekerja. Dia tiada hari cuti langsung. Jika dia mahu bercuti juga, maka gajinya yg tidak seberapa itu (jika nak dibandingkan dgn kita ini semua) akan dideduct. Ram Jay hanya akan menagmbil MC ketika dia mahu memasukkan duit kepada familynya di Nepal. Sesdudah selesai urusan memasukkan duit itu, Ram Jay akan melepak di KLCC. Jika anda bekerja di KLCC dan terjumpa Ram Jay, ketahuilah itulah saja masa cuti yg dia ada dan silalah jgn segan2 utk berkata "Hai!" kepadanya. NEscaya dia akan mengangkat tgn dan menge"Hai" anda kembali.

Jika aku mendatang kerja pada Sabtu & aAhad, nescaya Ram JAy akan sentiasa ada di luar pintu kami kerna JAy tiada access utk masuk ke ofis. KAsihan dia. Bagaimana mahu makan dan minum? Maka kenalah beli di awal pagi dan simpan sampai waktu mlm dia pulang.

Ram Jay tiada pilihan utk bercuti pada Sabtu & Ahad walaupun company ini tidak bekerja pada hari2 itu, kerna nnt kompeni security tempat Ram Jay bekerja akan menghantarnya ke tempat lain pada hari2 itu utk bekerja. Might as well dia berada disini dan relaks walaupun tidak dpt menonton TV ataupun meminum minuman panas seperti Nescafe Tarik.

Aku pun tidak tahu berapa lama Ram Jay akan bertahan dgn kebosanan itu. I wish him gud luck lah!

Adakah anda mampu bekerja seperti Ram Jay?? berkorban segalanya utk keluarga. Adakah anda rasa kerja anda cukup bosan?

HAHH!!!

Bagi mereka yg ada live-in maid, mesti anda terlupa utk memberi hari cuti kepada maid anda bukan? dia pun adelah bekerja 24 jam, 7 hari semggu.. Adakah anda sggup diperlakukan begitu? Adakah anda memberinya cuti sebulan satu hari even??

Fikirkanlah demi kemanusiaan….

(yea, aku mmg poyo!)

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2007 means 27..when mama was 27, she already got 2 daughters, aged 7 & 3. What a proud mummy she was, and how fulfilled her life was. I know you wish the same thing for me as well mama, but I’m sorry I cant fulfil that. I am 27 this year. I dont hv what you had when you were my age. But the choices I’ve made, I wont regret it. That’s what made me stronger I believe.

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Amal texted me on new years eve, she’s getting married this April. after so many heartaches, finally she’s getting married.

Has gonna get married in July (070707). After a very very long & mencabar-nyer relationship started in 1992. Yes, we all br darjah nam..so wot??

A.Bean is oso gonna get married 070707. Abean kan artis, kene la kawen date yg centu ehehehe.

Awin getting engage this month. A long relationship jugak exactly start after the last day of school.

Nor pulak is getting married this weekend. She actually dah akad nikah tgh tahun lepas but br nak kenduri, she’s now carrying a person in her belly, dah 3 bulan. how sweet. her hubby is 3 years younger than her, but when he realized he’s in love with Nor, he didnt wait long. You know, that is the best thing I believe. Bcoz Nor definitely in love with him but think abt it, kalo simpan lelame, things might not be as it is. I think I’m more like Nor…when we are so much in love, that person better grab us as soon as he can.Better not let us wait, for many reasons that I cant put in here. Nor pun dah byk kali in relationship yg pjg & unpromising. Gone with all the good looks & duit yg berkepul2, bcoz at the end of the day, that’s not what really matters. IT is how you clicked together, it’s how you need each other, It’s how you feel you cant live without this person ( not necessarily means you’ll die), It’s how you know they are the one & how you know how much they meant to you. Looks can be altered, money you can make together.

I’m hepi for all of you, I sincerely wish you guys hepiness all the way. Life is much more meaningful, innit? You guys gonna have sumone to go home back to, sumone to share all ur pain & sorrow, sumone for u to cherish & share ur tender moments & happiness, sumone u can share little me’s, sumone who’s gonna take care of you as much as you gonna take care of them, sumone for u to love & love u back, to have a really strong & established relationship which nobody can say anything of. Sumone who’s gonna fight for you, be there for you, look after you when you are sick. Sumone for you to cuddle, nite after nite until the end.

Eventho all are not fairy tales, you guys shd be able to work out your differences. Life is about taking chances too.

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Rine has given birth to her 2nd child.

Ezrin has given birth to her 1st daughter.

Liza is now carrying her 2nd.

Farah & Hasni are both carrying their 1st.

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So you see, 2007 is gonna be a good year, if not to me but to all my peeps. how abt me? hmm..how the hell do I know?? I’m not bitter. This is my blog.

You know, when you are not married yet, people’ll ask you "when are you getting married?"

When you ARE married, people’ll ask you "when are you going to get pregnant?" or "when are you gonna hv a child?"

When you HAVE a child, people’ll ask you "when are you going to get the 2nd one?"

People who ask those questions are just plain stoopid. They nvr stop asking you know, until like you are dead or sumthing, probably bcoz they dont hv other "intelligent" questions to ask. Else, they are just trying to nice (like, WTH?) I myself do ask those questions to people, but I try to ask to the correct ones & correctly..macam kalo tanye bile nak kawen, we hv to ask the guys, not the girls. kalo nak tanye bile nak ade anak, kite kene tanye, "How’s your family planning?" n ckp that certain ppl choose not to start a family immediately.Try to be less intimidating, bole kan?

Nie jgnla tanye "bile nak mkn sik minyak?" yg kite rs cam nak jwb "nak mkn pi la beli kat kedai wei" eheheh

Nope.Nope. Shall try not to start the year by being bitter, well it’s only 4 days into 2007 kan?

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I am an easy to please. I am the flower kind of girl. I am the choccie kind of girl. I am the bearbear kind of girl. I am a girlie girl. I extremely love being pampered, but then again, who doesnt.

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I used to buy bouquet of flowers every other week to put in my house. I love the smell of fresh flowers.Asl skang aku stop beli ah?

Babah used to get hampers mase raya n CNY, kalo hamper yg memahal tu nnt ade cadbury. there’s one which I reaaaallly like, it is called Melting Moments. Die dlm kotak pat segi n bentuk hearts. My sis penah dpt mase V day from her then boyfie. Aku yg melantak cekelat tu sbb aku sukaaa. Yesterday I went to Cold Storage n saw that. Waaahhh!! betapa sukanya diriku ini. Shall buy them today.

Seeee!!! I’m a simple person to please. Sekotak baru RM14.

& spjg idup aku sampai 26 tawun nie, apart from my family, aku dpt only 1 bearbear as hadiah. tu pun sbb it was meant for the sis but since the sis nak bearbear yg mahal, maka bearbear tu pun diberikan kat aku. hmmm…..aku mencik bearbear yg bulu leh tercabut2 tu.

A lot knows I’m the flower-choccie-bearbear kind of girl, but funny,I’m nvr been showered with that. Probably bcoz I nvr ask for it. But then again, those people are supposed to know already.

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Again, sincerely I wish you all true happiness from the very bottom of my heart…but 1 thing I wish to hv from all you,

to remember a little bit of Jasreza Aida, to keep me in that very corner of your heart, to cherish me…& in any way I’ve helped you to what you hv become..

Love,

intoxicated heart