~intoxicated heart~

me tgk sume org pun letak ape dorg nyer azam kat blog derang..me tgk sume org pun letak wish list derang..me tgk sume pun letak ape derang dah achieve utk 2006.

Weellll….lemme see….wat 2006 has been to me?

overall it was good, not great but good enuff. sum bad things happened n sum things remain unchanged.

I had achieved:

*scratch head*

*scratch head again*

*scratch head again*

err…I’ll start with wat I DIDNT achieve:

1. gaining weight so that I’ll be sedap-sedap…tehehe

2. owning a property

3. kompol duit byk2

4. buy new car

5. give my parents more each month

6. bla bla bla

owh!owh!..now I remembered wat I’ve achieved:

1. Gone holiday in B.A.L.I!!!!(dah lama dah me teringin nak berholiday wif frenz yg cam besh2nyer hols. so now finally!!!)

2. Getting a new wrist watch..Solvil Titus okeh!! (the old one was a gift from sumone few years back. It was stoopid actually. Jam tu dibeli utk diri sendiri, I was there n aku dah ckp jam tu tak sesuai utk dia, tp daaak!ketegaq!!nak jugak.mapuih hg la.pehtu sbb dah ramai sgt kata tak sesuai dgn dia, jam tu telah diberikan kepadaku, dgn alasan kununnye "I mmg nak bg kat u tp saje je la i pakai dulu" Mengong!!!Ko ingat aku bowdowh ke haaa???? Tp aku amek la gak, buat2 hepi.HAH!!PAthetic! Anyway jam itu telah rosak pada awal tahun ini..it’s about time innit?)

3. A brand new bed.ehehe

4. Self Control

5. Another LOAN. HAHH!!!

What I could have had:

1. A son or a daughter. I guess most of you would hv known how much I’ve wanted to kan? But unfortunately I cant have a baby. I just cant.

2. A new job. huhu

What had maintained:

1. My status quo

2. My love to MotMot

3. My minie

4. My KD aptmt

5. My job.

6. Err….errrr

Hightlight of the year:

1. Getting hospitalized over a BISUL!

2. Getting my hair permed!! weeehoooooo

Embarrassing moments pun ada…hahahahah

well…my relationship pulak,I was going thru my roseyhoney & I realized, I was so much in love beginning of the year, all bunga2 & chenta2..then come middle, all heartaches & broken hearts, all the way but things are looking much much better I suppose. I am insecure, perhaps of wat had happened. I’m not afraid to admit that. But my feelings towards LabiLabi remains unchanged from the very first day, & it had actually grown more more & my heart rasa nak pecah dah…I hope he realized that.

My mama & babah went to perform their HAJJ this year too..A lot had happened during that time (adik, keep it)

I’ve wrote abt nhawal & my lil devil.

I’ve wrote abt Hasni.

Kemma’s wedding picces.

I’ve wrote all about my inner thots, wishes, insecurities..

I cherished my moments with my housemate tersayang…eheheh (our journey together was great, wasnt it babe??)

Well, I treasured all the memories…bad & good…

I miss si Prankster & the kid on the Tong Sampah..muahahah

I hope Year 2007 would be kind to me.

And owh, I hope those bugs of exes would stop bugging MotMot’s life & mine. Move on with your lives okkayy!! WTF with all that menkontekting his sanak sedara & my sanak sedara jugak haaa??? Aint getting any ke haaa??? BAbi lah korang.

Both of you ARE getting married dah kan?? So why look back? You wouldnt want your hubby-to-be & wife-to-be to hv any contact at all with their exes lives watsoever kan?? or are you having 2nd thots? Wat issit with nak sebuk2 ngan baik2 dgn kaum keluarga your exes?? Duhh!!! Pi lah buat baik2 dgn kaum keluarga laki n bini hampaaaaaaaaaaa

*calm down ryzza…calm down. It’s not worth it pun*

I’m cool. I’m cool. *breath in.breath out*

Well…memories are memories. Cant do much about it. Past is past. what we can control is the future.

I wont say now what I wish for 2007, afraid it might not come true.

2007 means 27 years old, not such a bad thing, innit??

Last nite I was alone in my house..These few days were & will be like that too. My hsemate has gone back to Penang for Hari Raya Aidil Adha. So, wat a girl to do when she’s alone in the house??

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Walk around nekkid!!!

ahahahahhaha

yeahhh but nnt org kat bwh2 suma nampak how??

nnt pix nekkidku termasuk ke donia cyber how?? (wot?woot?)

well, last nite was well….last nite.

I got home around 7-ish, then start masak cekodok pisang yg jesse tggl dlm fridge, buat coffee, throw away my pants & blouse, amek comforter n vegged depan that beloved tv. no one to entertain me & vice versa..huhu

OTH, Mr&Mrs Smith, Desperate Housewife, Alias, Hitch, Desire:TableForThree,…

back to back, in the middle.

fell asleep at dunno wat time. that phone call never came.

*broken-hearted & cried*

does it matter anyway…..

Well, tonite, same thing..anyone wants to join me?

we’ll do bikini party okehh!!!

Peeps, a big apology to all for not being able to finish up my story yet on my trip to Bali. However, if u wanna see the pix 1st, u can go here for now. Bear in mind, this is not mine so my pix agak kurangla and definitely this one dah di-edit big time! hahaha no bikini pix though. this site owner tak benarkan any dlm die nyer, soweeeeee

Bali di hatikuu…(bukan Bazli ye Isham hehehe)

sambung kesah kat Ubud tu,

HomeStay kitorg tu actually umah Pak Wayan tu sendiri, tp die buatla bilik2 asing. actually very nice.since Pak Wayan nie beragama Hindu, dalam kawasan umah die ade la Pura yg dia buat sendiri. Pura means temple & 80% penduduk Bali menagamalkan Hinduisme. Tapi Hinduisme dorg nie lain sikit pade yg kat mesia nie. Dorang still sembah Tuhan yang same but different ways..offerings die, tradition die, pakaian…all different..

oh btw, aku ade la pix anjing burok tu

haaa..nmpk tak..tu kat luar pintu McD la tu…balik kpd cite pak wayan, ni pix kitorg depan umah die ngan anak laki die (wot?wot?)

akceli mase kitorg pegi tu, esoknya Hari Raya Kuningan (equivalent to Hari Raya Haji), so sgtla cantik area situ sume..setiap umah dorg pasang Penjur. Penjur tu cam tempat offering la buat pade buloh, pinang n watever. Nie pix kitorg dgn Balinese nak siapkan penjur tu See dorg pakai kebaya, sarung n selendang kt pinggang? tu lah bj raya dorg sume. (btw, tu bukan nikon tergantung kat leher aku tp pouch aku ahahahah)

pas dah check in n membuat kiraan sume dan byr membayar, we suddenly realized we could eat 5 horses!! Lapar wey!! So kitorg pun jln la dr Dewi Antara tu gi carik Nasik Padang. Org kate berjalan tu luas pemandangan kan? eventho penat nak mampuih hahaha

nasik oh nasik padang muka org yg laparr!!!!

sambil mkn tu, org kat kedai tu bukak tv cerita hindustan, kareena kapoor ckp indo ahahahahahha

dah melantak kitorg start la round ubud tu…jauh jln die..naik turun bukit, masuk from 1 shop to another, destinasi nak gi Ubud Market. kitorg benti jap kat satu salon bapok kat situ nak tanye price spa, massage, hair treatment…gile murah wei!tambah lak dgr kate kitorg from Mesia, whole package dgn hair sekali adela 150K-200K..lima2 kitorg nak buat tp tulah sbb kitorg nak jln lagi, kitorg pun ckpla nnt dtg balik sbb kitorg nak gi Ubud Market. I asked the ladyguy, jauh ke Ubud Market tu lagi..sbb rase cam dah jauh gile jalan kan, dia kate nggakk, dekat aja..YESS!!! bapak die dekat! Jauh ok…J.A.U.H!! sampai kat Monkey Forest bergamba dulu pastu sambung la jln…tah bape botol Teh Botol kitorg tegok dgn air mineral Aqua.At last sampai, MotMot n Sarah terus naik sheikh, jadik shopping frenzy! hah! Tp market dia cam busuk sikit la (cam pasar Chowrasta tuh) tp brg kat situ mmg murah giloooo……ade lak satu mamat jual brg tu dah la ketot tak ensem lak tu n muda remaja syok pe tah kat aku, kejap2 tepok blakang aku pastu sengih2..Motmot jeles dgnnya ahahaha sbb dia siap gi tanye Motmot lg…tp pa pe pon Sarah the Lady!! sume tempat kitorg pegi sume nakkan die..MAann!! I tell you, mmg hot stuff tak hengatnye.Dari mamat driver, ke org jual, org kat Tananh Lot, Supir, Org yg keje kat Hardrock, u name it. Sume gile kat Sarah..sbb dorg kate Sarah cantik.

Pas abih bershopping kat Ubud Market tu, kitorg start la gerak balik tp dah tak sempat nak gi berSpa sbb kitorg dah beli tiket utk tgk Kechak Dance. Rerupenye Pak wayan is one of the dancers, so kitorg juz beli tiket pade die n anak laki die bwk kitorg gi Pura. Pak Wayan siap bg kitorg bunga utk pakai…hahaha tu yg macam Hawaii tgh mlm tu (Jelitawan)

Kechak dance merupakan kisah Ramayana & Sita..The show was great tau, dorg chanted synchronize tau..acapella. After that dorg sambung ngan Fire Dance…Lain kali lah aku cite pasal Fire Dance. Pastu kitorg balik gi bilik n tido…abihlah 2nd day…sok aku sambung lagi

Bali is heaven!!! That much I can tell ya…me so lurvvee Bali!!

meh me story okeh my journey to the east ittew…

Thurs - 07 Dec

I woke up at 9am after working late the nite before..berguling2 jap pastu kejut my sis nak mintak tlg hantarkan ke S.Alam. We all pi mkn dulu n pi umah Motmot. Sis dropped me there n Adek yg drivekan me & MotMot to LCCT. Kitorg sampei lmbt hahaha patutnye international flight kena 2hours before departure tp kitorg check in kul 3.30..Airasia kool je pon.mkn2 sikit kt deli situ…

sekali sampai kat ngurah rai airport dah gelap seyy..menggelupur carik taksi..kat airport nyer kena 45K rupiah tp kat luar tu 70K rupiah…mahal weh…masuk dlm balik amek cab airport..but u know what, ensem2 rupenye mamat indo nie…yg imigresen tu n yg cabbie tu sgt la ensem dan berkaliber…putih lak tu..takle macam mamat2 indo kat sini yg muke cam menakutkan tu…terima kasiiih om

we all stay kat kodja inn tp dah le sampai lmbt, we all pun pdah enat sekali mamat kodja tu nak carik pasal lak…sbb nak jugak suh kitorg dok bilik aircon.kitorg lak malas la sbb esok pagi nak gerak dah gi ubud.puas Jesse bertekak ngan mamat tu.hahaha tapi maleh nak bertekak pjg sbb kitorg nak tinggal brg2 kat bilik situ mase kitorg gerak gi ubud tu.

malam tu jugak kitorg kuar balik gi jln2 spjg jln kuta sbb Motmot nak beli suar mandi baru..dgn tak mknnye lagi terus kuar..hahaha suar die lawa tp tula nak tayang pix seksi topless die kat sini die tak kasik.

patu sume jln gi mkn kat McD tepi Kuta Beach.Lapo gile…pastu lepak kat joint sblh McD.Ade la anjing sekor kat situ..buruk gile rupe die eventho die manje..huhu takut gak ah kitorg nak gerak. sarah sampai tanye" Tu anjing ke babi?" tergelak2 kitorg…tapi mmg anjing tu tak cantik ade dot2 caner tah.bukan style puppy2 nyer…alah,lupe lak nak snap pix anjing tu..

Mase tu jakun gakle aku nengok Cabbie sume tgh main chess atas jln sementara nak tggu customer. siap gerak ke tepi lagi kalo ade cabbie lain nak parking cab dorg. Dah siap melantak, kitorg pon balik la tido.esoknye nak gerak kul 7 pagi kan..huhu nite nite all!

Friday - 28 Dec

aku terjaga kul 6.00 pagi tgk2 ujan la pulak.~sigh sambung tido..Perama ( tour bas yg kitorg booked utk ke Ubud) lak kol Jesse ckp postpone sampai kul 10pagi…hmmm settap tido hahha.Bgn kul8.30, aku n Motmot gi jejln kat depan jln, smlm tu tak sempat gi byk kedai sbb dah kul 10mlm kan, Jesse,Sarah & Izrin tanak ikut..pepagi lagi dah dorg stat jual memacam, ramai lak yg tanye nak taksi ke, rides, lagi satu dorg tanye "nak kutek?" hahahah offer Manicure & Pedicure Rp20K..tergoda la gak kan, tp takut tak sempat. 20K tu baru 8 hinggit weh..mane nak dpt RM8 buat dedua tu, satu pon tak lepas..they can be quite persistent u know tp ye lah sbb competition. pagi tu masuk satu kedai jual sunglass Ferragamo yg murah sgt dan cantik. Motmot kate nnt lah bila dah balik Kuta br beli.Hah! sampai balik Mesia pon aku tak beli…sbb by the time sampai Kuta duit aku pon dah abih…huhu

By the time balik ke Kodja, ngam ngam we all masukkan sume brg2 we all ke satu bilik je, kunci, checkout bilik lain sume n terus gerak ke Perama nyer station kat Legian Street. Yay! naik bas ke Ubud. Kuta to Ubud took us abt 2 hours.

Bas ada aircon eventho aircon tu takla kuat sgt.Sbb still excited we were talking all the way sampai Ubud. Ubud is the "Kampung" of Bali Island. Kuta is a town. So memula sampai Ubud aku agak depressed jugakla sbb jalan dia dahle kecik gile, pastu semak samun lak tu tepi jalan. Kedai cam kecik2 deret2 pastu sawah pastu kedai kecik2 deret2 pastu sawah.

Tapi bile bas dah benti, rase cam tempat tu cantik sgt, aku yg 1st turun..pastu ade pacik nie approached tanye we all dah ade tempat stay ke kat Ubud, so i got into talking & negotiating lah. Die bwk me & MotMot as a represntative of the group utk pi tgk bilik tu…hahaha naik motor lah

Pakcik baju ijau tu la yg kitorg dok kat HomeStay die..name die pak Wayan. Homestay tu name Dewi Antara..Pak Wayan ini juga mempunyai seorg anak perempuan yg gile hot dan seorg anak lelaki yg gagah perkasa..

eh sok sambung eh…ehehehe

Peeps, I’m off tmrw at 1640. so anybody wants to wave gudbye pls come at the LCCT, but no "tolong belikan" without "nah duitnye" will be entertained. Air liur akan dibalas dgn air liur sahaja ( no pun intended haha)..tapi sebab i nie baik hati, tgkla nnt ye ape2…

Anyhoo, I wanna say sorry for everything, pls Halalkan makan minum pakai ye..Kalo nak berangkat gi memane kite kene mintak halal sbb kite tatau nnt jd ape..

Doa kan I selamat dan hepiness ye!

Kalo I balik nnt I upload pix I tu, pix bikini mebbe tidak akan di post kan di sini, nnt ade org jerit2 lak kat I, bingit! Tp I sayang org itteww muahmuah!

Take Care! If I can, I’ll update lah kat sane….ciao!

p/s and oh! oh! I gotta restrict my page now..eventho I’m against it big time but I’ve to lah huhu…or shd i juz let it be??

Aku mmg seorg yg emo. sgt emo.

Aku juga seorg yg garang.sgt garang.

Aku juga seorg yg sgt pemurah.betul tak tipu.

Aku juga seorg yg cepat kesian kat org.sbb tu aku selalu kena tipu.

Tapi tak bermakna aku bodow.Aku ada otak ok.

Tapi kdg2 tu aku buat2 bodow je, sbb kesian nnt org tu nmpk sgt kebodohannye.Sbb aku tak sampai hati.

Aku nie nampak keras. tp aku tak snrnye.

Korg jgnla take advantage dgn aku.sbb nnt bila aku wat decision tanak kawan ngan korang, mane korg nak carik aku lagi daah..

Maybe aku suka bagi nasihat byk kat org, x bermaksud nasihat tu nak kondem korg, dan korg pun tahu ade betulnya.Tp korg saje tanak terima kan sbb nmpk sgt aku betul.Ego la tuuu.bwek!

Aku pun tau aku kene take my own advise.sbb tu bila aku ckp means aku mengingatkan diri aku sendiri.Poyo.

***********************************************************

Aku sgt tidak sabar hendak ke BALI…kamu, kamu, kamu dan kamu, silalah jeles….muahahahahah

tetapi kamu, tidak payah jeles ok sbb kita akan bersamasama ke Redang pulaaaa yayyy!!!!

Sunblock (face)- Checked

Sunblock (body)- Checked

Hot pants - Checked

Camera - Checked

Batteries - Checked

Tiny tops - Checked

Skirts - Checked

Sunglass - Checked

Passport - Checked (Imigresen tu saja wat muka aku pelik dlm paspot huhu, skit nya lawa ka pix aku provide)

Rupiah - Checked (Aku dah jadi millionaire skaang…weeeehoooo)

Travelling Bag - Checked

Hot Bod - partially checked.Still working on it! (Haida kata takkan nak pakai bikini longgaq.cheh kamu nie)

Bikini - Unchecked.GASP! huhu need.bikini.need.bikini.alert!

aa…APO lagi ah yg aku lupa wei..

"Have You Ever?"

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can’t sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don’t come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You’d do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You’d give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don’t know what to say
And you don’t know where to start

Have you ever found the one
You’ve dreamed of all of your life
You’d do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you’ve given your heart to
Only to find that one won’t give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
‘Cuz baby I can’t sleep

********

This is exactly how I’m feeling now..

How do you tell that person you miss ‘em so much that you actually cried at nite? If you do tell, wld that person understand anyway? That you cant sleep thinking abt ‘em?

Are all the heartaches really worth it?

Wld that person need you as much as you need ‘em? or is that person juz faking it in fear that you’ll walk away?

Wld that person knows by pushing you away it actually make matter worse as you wld take it as you are not needed anymore,when both of you were having disagreement, n you just might walk away?

Wld that person knows & notice at all??